Caustic Course of Presidential Hopefuls One Line Item at a Time

Fast Food or Casual Dining Politics Served Up Daily.

All Candidates for Employment Will Be Available for Random Drug Tests and the Mini Mental State Examination (MMSE). That's Apple Penny Table in the Corner While You Draw a Clock Face on Your Placemat.

Hello My Name is Jeb Bush and I'll be Your President This Evening.

All right, I'm HRC, Put Your Fat Fuckin' Ass In a Seat.

Hi, Chris here, Hey, where'd everybody went?

No tipping, please. I'm Lizzie Warren, and I'll just put this tomahawk on the table while we wait for a decent minimum wage.

You're telling me I could be Brad Pitt, Charlie Bronson and Christopher Reeve rolled into one and just because I happen to be a Mormon, I can't win?

Down Texas Way They Call Me Professor Perry. Let's face it we seen what brains can do these last several years. I say give Pecos a Chance.

I Heart Huckabees, and Jay Z and Sister Souljah and really any Christian: Man Woman or Trans. You want Guns and Gravy with those Fries?